The other week I had a chunk of.. something… come off of my tooth. It was hard enough to click when I dropped it on the bathroom counter, and was pretty smooth. I was kinda scared that it might be a tooth.
I put it in a jar and made a dentist appointment for the first time in my life, ever. Oh, I went to the dentist… when I was a kid and my mom dealt with it for me. Then I was living in LA and barely getting enough work to pay my rent, never mind hassle with insurance and seeing everyone’s least favorite specialist.
Unsurprisingly it turned out to be about thirty years of built-up junk, probably mostly minerals in my saliva. The tooth this had been accumulating on turned out to be right next to my saliva glands; I was chipping off chunks of a fricking stalagmite growing in my mouth Not sexy.

Why yes of course you get photos! Just tiny little ones because eww. But you can click for FULL CLOSEUPS! This thing has STRATA! I’m sure everyone will want to look.

Two hours of cleaning later, my teeth felt very very different. And I had a prescription for a bottle of mouthwash that will help get all of this junk off, and a recommendation for a particular electric toothbrush. So I hit up Amazon for a Phillips Sonicare, and got it yesterday. Being a modern device, it of course had to be charged for 24 hours straight before its first use, though it says a single charge should be good for up to three weeks after that.

I used it for the first time today. It felt really, really weird. And gave me flashbacks to when I was a kid and had this crazy Star Wars toothbrush: a giant handle shaped like a light-saber, that took two D batteries. I found myself kind of missing it.

(A little internet research reveals that this toothbrush was actually a reskinned Six Million Dollar Man toothbrush. Go fig.)

Aaagh you guys go see ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ it is big and dumb and fun and surprisingly witty, self-aware, and coherent. It takes itself exactly not seriously enough and is amazingly polished.

Also the blue pirate dude totally has a knife missile and totally does the scene Diziet has flashbacks about in ‘Use of Weapons’ except it’s on “necrotroopers” so it’s totally okay to go ‘whoo he sure killed the fuck out of those dudes COOL”.

Also ROCKET RACCOON, I mean geeze, crotchety space raccoon who steals shiny things, gets into everything, and blows stuff up.

Also it pushed the DEAD PARENTS button pretty hard but man I was having enough fun that I didn’t feel used and manipulated.

Also I saw it at the local Sundance, which serves booze, and didn’t bother being sober. This review may be effected by that. I mean I left in the middle of the movie to piss and I didn’t feel like I really missed anything except maybe a pretty scene. BECAUSE IT WAS FUCKING PRETTY AS HELL.

Also the post-credits scene. Hah. I am totally down for seeing Guardians 2 next year.

It is not a meaningful movie, it is not a realistic extrapolation of serious life in space. It is about a bunch of wastrels blowing a bunch of shit up, learning the power of friendship, and about your inner eight-year-old being full of happy. I think the bucks I paid to see it were money well spent.

I’ve been drawing a fair amount of shiny metal lately, what with doing stuff for a furry con whose theme is ‘cyberpunk’. Something interesting I’ve noticed is that I’m no longer content to just draw a black squiggle to notationally say ‘this is chrome’; I find myself casually thinking about what it’d be reflecting, and dropping in a few hints of that.

I don’t really have anything to say beyond that. I guess something else I do in the process of a drawing has become so simple for me that I need to add a new layer of detail to keep things interesting.

Fan art for an eighties cartoon that never was. They fight crime for a mysterious organization known only as W.A.S.T.E.

I shoulda been working on Rita, project P, or Rainfurrest stuff, but this came out instead. Oh well, I guess it was just not a productive day. And now I think I’ll have a late lunch and go see Guardians of the Galaxy. Maybe even in 3d.

There is nothing to make one feel old like discovering that a former colleague is now directing a big-budget animated feature. I worked on a pilot Jorge did for Disney, back before I burnt out.

Congratulations are obviously in order for him!

I tweeted a couple photos of today’s outfit and got a response asking for some Fashion 101. Here’s what I replied with, plus a few more things.

1. Find a vintage shop with stuff you like.
2. Only buy stuff that looks fabulous on you. Just “okay” is not good enough.
3. Start pruning your wardrobe. Dispose of stuff that’s not fabulous on you. Maybe keep a couple outfits for those times you need to dress down, I didn’t and I keep feeling I should get a big shapeless t-shirt for hair dye days.
4. Be confident that you look awesome. Accept compliments on your outfit gracefully.
5. Be prepared to spend about a half hour getting dressed EVERY TIME you leave the house.
6. Great place to splurge: a really distinctive coat. If you live anywhere with seasons this will help make a LOT of half assed outfits come together. I have two: a heavy fur-lined one I found at the vintage shop, and a lighter one I found at the goth shop, and upgraded with shiny colorful buttons. A really great purse can do the same.
7. Figure out where your style is going. I call mine “inappropriately sexy maiden aunt”; this currently often means several layers of sheer fabric or lace, some form-fitting, some billowing.
8. Party upstairs, business downstairs. Or vice-versa. Showing lots of skin above and below the waist starts to get leers instead of praise.
9. I would strongly counsel against buying lots of new, fashionable things. They will be out of fashion next year. I mix and match stuff from the 70s, 80s, and 90s, and the very occasional new piece.
10. Colors. I find that wearing all one color is excessively matchy. Two or three looks very put-together, more is hard to make work. One color plus black makes you look like a supervillain. Or a hero I guess if you swing that way.
11. Patterns. I’ve settled to trying to not have more than one pattern on me at a time. It can be pulled off but it’s a big risk. Think of them as another kind of party, and apply suggestion #8.
12. Themes. Sometimes I’ll decide “this is an Amis day” and dress in that character’s red/white/orange/gold/tiny iridescent accents palette. Some days are a Peganthyrus day, and black/gold/subtle scale patterns are key. Et cetera. If you don’t have a stable of characters of your own, use cartoon characters or superheros or whatever. This isn’t at the level of cosplay, it’s just an organizational theme for an outfit.
13. Closet. I like to organize my closet by color. It makes it easier to say “I want to wear this blue dress, what colors go with it”. Currently I also split up into “stuff I have to layer if I want to be street legal”, “one piece dresses”, “tops” and “bottoms”, I’m not sure if that’s better than just “color”. My closet’s getting a little full, and it is time to prune stuff I kinda like but don’t love; set a limit.
14. You do not own a hat until it has a hook on it. I sew d-rings on mine so I can hook them to a carabiner on my bag/purse whenever I take it off. I no longer lose hats. My light coat had a couple d-rings inside it, just above the pockets so I don’t have to empty it to hook it to my bag.
15. While I’m on the subject of hats. Put one thing on your hat at most unless you want your hat to be the Most Important Part Of Your Wardrobe. Currently I’m really loving these “California Floppy Hats” from American Apparel; I sew wire into the brim of these big bold colorful things to make them into huge dramatic statements. Never be afraid of trying a huge dramatic statement with one part of an outfit and keeping the rest quiet: what part of your body feels right to bring attention to today?
16. Don’t buy aspirationally. Sure, that dress will be awesome when you lose ten pounds. And it’s on sale. I don’t care: it’s not awesome RIGHT NOW, put it back. There will be something equally cheap and great when you have lost weight. Everything in your wardrobe should be able to make you look amazing RIGHT NOW.
17. Eschew jeans and t-shirts. They are comfortable but almost never stylish. That said shorts under a single-piece dress can be nice for not showing everyone your panties when the wind kicks up.
18. When I started dressing nice, my mom warned me to never buy something that doesn’t go with at least two things in my wardrobe. I cheerfully ignore this rule – but I try to pull together a couple more new things at the store that work with it. Also sometimes I want something BECAUSE it contrasts sharply with everything else I own!
19. Confidence. Be convinced you look amazing and people will tend to act like you do. Hell, just pretend you’re confident you look amazing. That works too. Yes, I said this twice.

None of these are rules. They’re just what works for me and gets regular compliments. Good luck!

Me, hard at work on the cover of the Rainfurrest fiction anthology. SnappyCam + phone + Gorillapod = reference selfies forever. Seriously this is the best thing ever if you’re an artist, it makes those complex perspective poses so much easier.