Ugh, I had another one of the “I’m awake but my eyes aren’t” dreams (which are actually the reverse). It’s always the same, I wake up and my eyes just seem to be stuck on one image, I feel my way out of bed, and then it resets.
Today, I got as far as the kitchen, with intermittent new views of my apartment. Which I think seemed to be about 20% bigger than it actually is. All these new views were kinda grey and grainy and a little… off: there was SOMETHING in the living room that I really couldn’t parse.
Then it reset and I had to do it AGAIN. There was a glimpse of something not quite right in the living room again – some kind of mass of webbing, it looked like though all the grey fuzz – then as I felt my way along the studio wall I could see my hands probing along it – in grainy greyscale, out of my left eye, from a viewpoint a couple feet ahead and right of where my head actually is. When I got to the kitchen, my eyes started working normally; it was a very different, much larger kitchen. There were like three extra refrigerators/freezers. One was empty, one was filled with plastic containers that mostly seemed to be full of small berries? Seed pods? All labeled in the same hand, in thin black pen on masking tape stuck to the container. I wasn’t sure what to do with these; my brain told me that they’d been there since I moved in and I’d never worked out what to do with them. Maybe, I thought, I should empty a few out and use them. I’ve been wanting to get some small plastic containers for the fridge iRL The last fridge thing was also empty, and had a strange structure to it – it was shallow, about the depth of a CD rack, and had what I want to say was a bunch of cup holders in it, but that’s not right. What would be right, I’m not sure.
All of these fridges were sweating, too. Something might have been wrong with them.
And hanging out of reach was some kind of squat box. It had about six buttons on it, and seemed to be playing music. I wanted to poke at it but even if I’d climbed up on the counter I would have been barely able to reach it, if at all.
The other odd feature of this dream of my kitchen was that where there should have been the outside wall and the ceiling, there was nothing. There were a couple of beams, and a dimly-sensed expanse. I have an impression of it as being inside with polished wood floors, but no details are forthcoming – I didn’t really look at it, as it felt totally normal in the dream for it to be like that.
My vision went wonky again, and I had to feel my way back to my bedroom. As I did I started sobbing, and trying to say “I don’t want to be blind!”. It took four or five tries for the whole sentence to get out, as I kept on being choked up by misery; when I finally said it, I woke up.
* my “living room” is what most people would allocate as a second bedroom, and my “studio” is what most people would turn into a living room. You have to go through the latter to get to the former, or to my bedroom.