a raunchy thing

Would you like to see a picture of a cosmic unicorn lady with two penises standing on a planet while jerking off? Because I drew one.

Oh wait because that weird lady who draws just like me but has a different name drew one. Right.

Anyway. Birthdayish piece for Sigil, also because they just drew a picture of one of my characters doing some raunchy stuff as well.

bone hurting juice

“how do i distort text like this” – someone on /r/illustrator

“distortion meshes” – me

also here is some experimentation in faux watercolor looks that I need to explore further.

Dadsona? Dadsona.

Apparently now that it is 2017 we are supposed to have a “dadsona” in addition to our fursonae, dragonsonae, witchsonae, and all our other various alternate cartoon identities. Thanks, Internet. Thanks for that.

30min: Stairs

 

Someone on /r/illustrator posted a piece they described as “30 minute design challenge of the day: stairs”. It was a tiny little fragment of a staircase, mostly hidden by a huge wall.

I decided that looked like a good way to wake up, so I drew this. My original sketch had some more stairs in the background but I decided to spend the last five or six minutes adding the figure sliding down the bannister instead of those.

Bannisters: one line apiece, widened out with the width tool.

Posts: art brush set to ‘scale proportionately’ mode, draw a quick line.

Texture: mezzotinted rectangle, layer set to soft light 10%, the usual really.

some stoned thinking about money

I got stoned for a while this morning and found this in Evernote. It may in part be a reaction to spending a long weekend in Vegas (a friend was having a go at a couple poker tournaments there) and feeling revulsion at the constant display of the Fake Bling that you will surely come into at any minute if you just slip another quarter into this machine’s slot.

 

cryptocurrencies as a device for converting 4channers into value

 

1/ build cryptocurrency trading bots that can interface to an exchange and trade between pretty much any currency that pops up
2/ train on as much historical data as you can scrape up
3/ run a small swarm of them, each seeded with a few bucks you can afford to consider a complete loss right now
4/
5/ profit
4////// spend as much time as you care/can afford to on optimizing these bots
4/////// hopefully not including the amount of effort sufficient to create an entire simulated economy complete with an entire world populated with self-aware AIs
4//////// just so you can make a few more bucks in crypto, that’s just plain nasty
4////////
okay alternatively so like
consider money as a series of etheric flows that can be redirected to provide energy to one part or another of society
investing is like connecting pipes of this stuff between different people/ideas/ways of living
money is just a name we have given to this transit system for human energy and effort
 and some people have become obsessed with just getting high scores in how much they hold at one time
so they just want to obstruct the pipes and set up a huge pile of what should be a constantly-flowing substance, like a clot hanging there in the middle of a bloodstream
and whether or not things break when it finally lets go really depends on how flexible the pipes are
so what i’m saying is that i really hope the financial system of this country is more like a bunch of rubber hoses than a bong, because i keep on feeling like something is gonna burst soon
(puts her money where her mouth is: asks her investment counsellor to talk about redirecting some of her excess personal etheric flows to charities/dsa)

The Turquoise Legacy

Here’s a bit of NSFW fiction I just free-associated into a text window. First draft, very much about ‘things that make me horny’, probably owes a lot to Anne Rice’s version of ‘Sleeping Beauty’ and maybe something to admiring the fashion sense of the heavy of Disney’s version as well. Seriously don’t read this if you don’t want a thought-dump of the dirty fairy tales I tell myself while I’m touching myself. Also contains a smutty drawing.
A story, my sweetlings? Gather round, and let me tell you of the Cerulean Emperor.
Ahem.

Continue reading

the dream of a thievin’ yokai

I think I dreamed that a kappa stole my phone. Admittedly it’s hard to tell as it was replaced by a stand-in – the best one yet, I think this one actually ran a weird Android variant and had belonged to someone else. I never get my real phone when I pull it out in a dream; I always get a fake phone. It’s slowly catching up; it used to be a horrible clunky device with an LCD screen and multiple physical buttons, this one was recognizably A Post-iPhone Smartphone. It had a case with a single home button and a touch screen and everything. But it was a plastic case, that was sort of opening when I pulled it out and had to be snapped back together. And it said it belonged to some dude who was definitely not me (and no, this phone wasn’t owned by pre-transition me either).

She also managed to steal my tablets and my laptop from the hotel room I was staying in. This dream was taking place at a furry con that was somehow also happening in an airport, it seemed.

Really I feel like the “what is this janky substitute for my phone” thing should be a sign to me that I Am Dreaming by now. It’s been going on for several years. But like the “casually pissing in a really horribly unusable toilet” thing (which made an appearance too; I didn’t use it but the bathrooms in this dream sure were weirdly set up), I just try to use it anyway.

At least the last time I dreamed of peeing in an inappropriate toilet, I actually asked myself if I was dreaming. Maybe next time I get a Comedically Fake Phone I’ll ask myself that question too. And maybe next time I casually pee in a wildly inappropriate toilet and ask myself if I’m dreaming, I’ll take out my phone and see what I get.

I still don’t know what I’d do in a lucid dream, mind you.

stretching again

Back in splits class for the first time in months. Somewhere in December was the last one.

It was agony. But it was agony I’m familiar with. Agony I know intimately. Agony I know will pass if I keep at it.

Well, maybe not pass. But change, and spread out, and become focused on one particular muscle or another.

During the final, really serious stretches, I could sort of feel my body remembering how to do this. How to relax a muscle being stretched to its limit. How to push it close to the edge of pain, relax, and maybe find that the pain comes a tiny bit further out when I try again.

I’ve lost a lot of flexibility. But it feels like i still remember how to become more flexible. How to breathe in calm, and feel the tension leaving my body as I exhale.

I’ve really gotta start doing push-ups though. I could barely hold myself up a couple times. Ah well. That will come too.

It was exactly as terrible as I expected it to be. And that was kind of comforting.

the dream of not realizing I’m dreaming

Huh. So usually going to a bathroom with a broken toilet and using it anyway is a sign that (a) I am dreaming and (b) I am about to wake up. I haven't dreamed this in a while, but I did tonight – I was in the house I grew up in, and the toilet was just gone, with a neat little hole in the floor, and I still casually pissed all over the floor where it used to be.

I even asked myself “hey, this feels like a dream toilet, am I dreaming?” but kept on proceeding as if it was not. Go figure. Maybe next time this happens I'll actually have a lucid dream or something. I would say that would be nice but I'm not sure I really have any idea what I'd do in one.

Oddly enough I did not wake up with a bursting bladder, either. Or in a puddle.

There were also some brief appearances by my mom in this dream. I haven't dreamt about her much lately. Not sure I've really dreamt much that lingers after waking at all, lately.

No butterflies.

So I bought Rez Infinite when it came out late last year. Played the first four original levels, put it away. Just didn’t really feel like going through it all again.

Today I booted it up again. Looked at the options. Nope, still can’t access the new level. You’ve got to have either played it for at least an hour, or have finshed the whole thing. So what the hell.

I did level 5. Didn’t ever feel like I was involved in it. Just sat back and kinda watched the part of my brain that spent a month playing that level again and again back in ’02 stretch and wake up and, well, I mean I didn’t shoot enough of the targets to get the butterfly ending, but I finished it in Space Baby form without really worrying about it. And watching myself do that – with no tension, with no real conscious thought – felt weird. Was I digging up memories of playing it fifteen years ago, staring at a 30″ CRT plugged into a Dreamcast? Or has playing Polybius a lot lately really given me the level up in playing video games that it generally feels like it has?

I am still not sure I have spent an hour playing the thing but I guess I can play the new content now. It told me I wasn’t really done after the credits rolled, but I was all, man, I’ve done this before, I have sweated out the optimal path for shooting down 100% of the enemies and getting 100% of the pickups, I don’t need to prove this again. Not when this is the third system I’ve owned a copy of it on.

It’s still a very pretty game. You should experience it someday if you’ve never played it.