zuckerberg says it’s your birthday

Lounging around late at night, putting off going to bed. I load up Facebook on the tablet’s browser.

Facebook wants me to be very excited that two of my friends there are having birthdays. My timeline is full of notes about that and about things people posted on their pages wishing them a happy birthday.

I cringe a bit.

And then I go to my settings there and try to make sure Facebook will never tell anyone what my birthday is. I think it won’t. I should just delete that info from there. Oh look you can’t. I think I’ll change it to the creation date of Peganthyrus on Furrymuck.

Is this a normal reaction? I dunno. Birthdays have been weird for me ever since my father died on mine.

actually now that I think about it I’m seriously tempted to change it to that on every site that does that kind of thing. I’m close to a half century old, I think I’m allowed to start lying about my past now and then. And maybe I’ll be able to think about using it as an excuse for a party; I could use one in the middle of winter.

    • Yeah, that’s where it’s set right now. I seem to remember getting some birthday wishes on FB this past year but I could be misremembering; we will see. Assuming I don’t decide to make it public now that it’s a new date without sad resonances for me.

  1. I know it doesn’t help, but my mother passed away the day after my birthday. (Okay, officially it was 2 days later, but she was gone in my and my father’s arms that day, it just took the body a little bit to catch up.)

    I still celebrate my birthday, but overall, the day has been a pretty miserable one. I like to think that I am still a bright spot, and I am a good thing, and the world needs a good thing on that day, but so much sorrow has happened around my birthday.

    • Realistically we can probably guess that about one in every three hundred people has or will have a relative die close enough to their birthday that the day is kind of shit forever after. Maybe a bit more, maybe a bit less – there may be some non-uniform distribution of both birthdays and deathdays going on, plus guesstimates on how early on in your life Important People are likely to die, and… and that’s a rabbit hole I don’t feel like researching my way down right now.

      But it feels like this is a thing nobody acknowledges. It’s always expected to be “yay! it’s your birthday! cake and presents and friends and party and joy!”

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