Ugh. Why is the part of my brain that keeps on muttering “your mother is dead, you feel like shit, kill yourself” over and over again the first bit to wake up and the last to go to sleep. Being up and doing other things drowns it out but it's always there first thing in the morning and last thing at night and I'm getting tired of its helpful reminder and suggestions for how to deal with the situation. Yes thank you for your contribution little depressive self-harming thought loop, it has been noted and considered; your suggestion of suicide is not one we care to consider any time soon despite your continued persistence. Now will you please shut the fuck up.